Thursday, February 22, 2018


Dear AveryAnn,
     Today, you are two years old.  It doesn't quite seem possible that two whole years have passed since we first met you, but the calendar says it's true.  I don't know if it's because you're the second child or a girl or just your personality but you seem so much older at two than your brother did.  He was still my little baby.  Not you though, you are so independent, (most of the time).  You want to walk when we're out and about, you can say so many words and probably learn 5 new words every day.  You do still like to be held and insist we rock before bed each night.  I'm not complaining.  I miss that squishy newborn so much but I love the spunky little girl you're becoming.  
You were not a fan of the candles tonight!

    Today, I replayed the day of your birth over and over.  I felt like every time I turned around there were little reminders of that day.  I took you to the doctor for your checkup.  It was around the same time your daddy and I rode those same elevators up to see my doctor on the day you were born.  We rode those same elevators down to labor and delivery that day.  You were watching bubble guppies at work and it went off, Friends was playing on the TV when the recording ended. I remembered sitting in that triage room hooked up to all the monitors, I flipped through the TV that morning and finally landed on Friends to watch to pass the time.  We were outside playing when we got home and Crystal texted to tell you Happy Birthday and I remembered hearing you cry for the first time with big tears streaming down my face and looking over at Crystal taking pictures and seeing the tears in her eyes too.  It was such a sweet moment that I never expected.  We came in from playing and ate dinner and Barrett was so excited to celebrate you tonight.  It reminded me how excited the flood of family was that came to meet you on the night you were born.  I ended the night tonight rocking you and you had your head on my shoulder and looked up at me and all I could see was the very first picture I shared of you.  All squishy and new with your head on my shoulder.  It was the perfect ending to a beautiful day.  (that's not to say the day was perfect.  You pitched the most royal fit at the doctors office when they asked you to stand on the scale and got so upset you made yourself vomit. That part of today wasn't so great).  

Today, I am so thankful that God chose you to be ours.  You bring so much joy and laughter to our family.  We can't wait to watch you grow and learn this year.  We can't wait to see what good things you bring to the world. We can't wait to see how you use your gifts to spread joy wherever you go.  Happy 2nd Birthday AveryAnn!  We love you more than you'll ever know!
Mom (and Dad) :)

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 8

I'm finally feeling more in control this week.  I'm feeling stronger than ever in the gym.  I'm starting to really love the definition I'm seeing in my muscles.  For the first time in my life I'm not dreading summer and swimsuit season.  (Even when I was at my goal weight and working out, I still dreaded wearing a swimsuit because my boobs were so big and didn't fit into any normal swimsuits).  I can tell a difference in my overall energy level this week since I've been eating better. I feel like this week was what I needed to get myself back in gear.  
I'm down 3.4lbs from last week.  (Down 1.2lbs from my lowest WW weight.)
Making my total loss 55.4lbs.  Only 13.6lbs to go!!  I made mashed cauliflower this week for the first time and I was actually impressed with how much we liked it.  Even Patrick liked it.  It will definitely be added to the weekly rotation.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 7

Week 7!  I really had every intention to be at my goal by this point in the year.  But I'm not.  I'm trying not to get discouraged but it's hard.  But I also know I'm not putting in the work that I need to put in to get there.  I can't really be surprised that I'm not losing weight when I'm still eating whatever I want whenever I want.  It just doesn't work like that.  In my head I've moved on to maintaining and I've still got 15 pounds to lose.  So I have to get back into the losing mindset and I can't seem to make myself do it.  I've had several people ask me about keto lately and how to get started.  I feel like such a fraud telling them what to do  when I can't seem to get myself back on track.  But I did have a lot of success and I do think it works.  My problem in me right now.  I think if I can get back into the mindset of "one week at a time"  that was I had to do in the beginning and it worked.  I'm so worried about 3 and 4 weeks from now that I'm sabotaging myself.  So this week, I'm focused and ready.  I want to lose 2lbs this week.  I'm cutting out sweets.  I'm done with them for now.  I will eat sweets again one day just not right now.  It's just not worth it.  It's hard to believe that when you really want that cookie but its true.  The moment of pleasure is just not worth not reaching my goals.  
I'm up 2.2lbs this week.  I'm not shocked at all.  I've eaten like crap.  And because of that I'm feeling like crap.   I'm making all my workouts but you can't out work a terrible diet.  I know all of these things but I still couldn't convince myself to eat better.  It's a new week and another chance to do better.  I know I can do this.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Life Lately

 Here's what we've been up to over the last week!
 AveryAnn being cute, trying to get her way I'm sure. 
 Thursday, I got to go to Children's Theater with Barrett's class.  It was really cute and a fun morning with my boy.
 Ok, this is random but I'd seen ads for SheIn.comcv   on facebook for a while.  I'd ordered some things back in the fall but they didn't fit great.  Well I was browsing and saw some cute dresses and decided to give them another try.  I was so pleased with my order this time.
 I ordered both of these dresses and was very pleased with the fit and quality for the prize.  I think the floral one was $14 and the white one was $22.  So I had pretty low expectations.  I also ordered two swimsuits.  I'm going to spare you that try on.  One of them I knew was probably going to be too small and the bottoms were tiny but I really liked the top.  (it was only $11 so even if I just wear the top with other bottoms it's worth it).  The other swimsuit fit and was great quality for the price.  
I got these earrings and I'm kind of obsessed with them.  I don't really know why but I love them.  I will definitely order from them again.  My tips are to have low expectations, if it seems to good to be true it probably is.  Also read the reviews and adjust your size accordingly.  Also use the measurements and adjust.  Don't be afraid to order a size that seems weird.  I ordered a small in one thing and an XL in something else and they both fit. 

 Friday night, the kids spent the night with my parents so Patrick and I went to dinner at the Shrimp Basket.  We had a gift card and were excited to eat dinner together without having to discipline kids.  We laughed because we were both like "we need to get there early so we don't have to wait and we can get home in time for Celebrity Big Brother"  We were the youngest people in there by about 20 years.  But we were home in plenty of time to watch Big Brother.
 Saturday afternoon she took a nap on me and it was so sweet.  She's getting so big and it makes me so happy and so sad at the same time.
 Barrett found these mardi gras beads at my parents and he wants to wear them to school tomorrow for Fat Tuesday.  He said "mom, these are great, you can put your drink in the cup and carry it around."
I was so excited to get this king cake from publix, and it was not good.  I was so disappointed.  
Thats all for this post.  We're gearing up for Lent and Valentines day.  I know it's only February 12th but I peeked at my calendar for March and panicked a little at how much we have to do.  We'll get it all done though.  We always do!

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 6

It's Wednesday again, and I'm exhausted.  I'm not getting enough sleep and it's starting to wear on me.  I know that sounds like a lame excuse but it's true.  I've been getting up early for my quiet time each morning but I haven't been able to get in bed to make up the 30 minutes.  I know that doesn't sound like a lot but it has been for me.  I have got to start going to bed earlier.  I've felt so busy lately during the week.  I've been so tempted to skip working out so I could get to bed at a decent time.  But I really enjoy it once it's over and I don't want to skip.  So I'm going to have to start going to bed earlier.  My diet has been crap this week.  I'm blaming it on the lack of sleep.  
No change, (I'm not complaining).  I know I sound like a broken record but I have to start eating better.  I'm seeing great results from being back in the gym but I know it could be so much better it I was eating better foods.
We went for our body fat analysis this week for the first time since October.  I was pleased with my results. I was down 8 pounds from the end of October.  Which doesn't sound like a lot but since it was over the holidays I'm happy with it.  I measured 2" smaller in my chest, this is crazy to me considering this was the first measurement since my breast reduction. I was -1" in my waist.  I was 1.25" bigger in my hips but I really feel like that might be the result of a lot of squats.  Minus 0.5" in my arm and -1.5" in my leg.  Over all a loss of 5".  We've been taking progress pictures since our first meeting with Lisa in August.  I wish I had taken some when I first started but these after I'd already lost 30lbs are bad enough.  I've never shared them but I going to add them here because I just can't get over the difference.
The breast reduction helped my overall proportion tremendously but I still can't believe the little definition in my stomach.  I know I say it every week, but I've still got some work to do but I'm still so proud of how far I've come.  

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Life Lately

We've had a pretty uneventful couple of weeks and it's been really nice.  I like to go and do but I also love being at home.  Right now, I'm doing a class at church with my nephew and working out so that has me out of the house 3 nights a week so I've craved time at home on the weekend.  Plus when the weather is cold I just want to be at home in my pajamas.
AveryAnn and Millie are best friends.  Almost makes me want to get a puppy. Luckily I don't have to because she sees this one everyday and thinks it hers.
Millie isn't entirely convinced of the arrangement but how stinking cute are they.
I can't even handle this.  The smile, the squinched eyes, the static, the donut icing on her face.  She is so funny!
 Daddy kept them one Friday so it was an all day pj day.  I hope they always love each other this much.
We started a chore chart with Barrett in January and he earned his first allowance.  He was so proud and has done so great.  I'm really proud of him.
This is the chart I made.  I realize some of these "chores" are things he should be doing anyway but I'm trying to create good habits.  In a few months he'll get new chores and these will still be an expectation. He earns $1 each day if he completes all 5 chores.  We then have three jars one for spending, one for saving and one for giving.  He puts $1 in the save jar and $1 in the give jar each week and then whatever is left over goes in the spend jar.
January 27th was Jessica's birthday so Brittany and I took her to brunch to celebrate.  Then since we were on that side of town we went to World Market so I could get some sugar free Torani syrup for my coffee.  That led us to Nordstrom Rack, where I spent more money than I should have but not as much as I could have.  I got some necessities.  All in all it was a great day!  Jessica is the sweetest friend.  I'm so thankful for her and her family.  They are like family to us!
This sweet girl got some full on pig tails.  They were so cute I couldn't stand it.
She has to be touching me at all times.  Sometimes it's too much, and I take it for granted.  Sometimes I just don't want to be touched.  But I'm thankful for these babies and I know they won't be babies forever.  One day they won't want anything to do with me.
Thursday night Barrett begged to go workout with me, but on Thursdays I do two classes and they're later.  Also it's been so crowded since the first of the year, that I really didn't want him to go.  I asked him if he really wanted to go workout or if he just wanted to go with me by himself.  And he said he just wanted to be with me.  So I promised him I would take him on a special little date on Friday night.  I'm pretty sure his love language is quality time, so I'm trying to be more intentional about that with him.
So he emptied the money from his spend jar and we headed to Walmart.  Now, I'm going to be honest, there's not a whole lot to buy for $6 at Walmart.  I explained to him that was all he had to spend and if he found something for more than $6 he would have to save up for it.  We spent nearly an hour in the toy department scouring every aisle, he found something for $3 and he liked that he would have a new toy and would still have $3 to put back in his spend jar.  But then he found a flip racer for $5.88 and he had to have it.  I had to give him 42 cents but he was a happy boy, and so proud. 
After Walmart we headed to Dairy Queen to use a gift card he got for his birthday.  I loved being able to give him my undivided attention.
We got some ice cream and headed home.  It was so simple and not expensive and I could tell that he really loved it.
I really can't believe he's five years old and will be heading to kindergarten in the fall. 
Funny faces.  I'm going to make it a priority to spend more one on one time with him. 
One of my goals for 2018 is to read one book a month.  This was the first book I finished in 2018, even though I started it in December.  It took my forever to read but it was really good.  I want to see the movie now.
This was the second book for 2018.  I love Melanie Shankle, I've read her blog for years and the other books shes written.  I love this book because it is where I am.  In the everyday mundane life of raising kids it feels like we're not doing much in the world but we are.  Life is not the big moments, life is lived in the simple, every day moments.  There is a study that goes with the book.  I bought the workbook thinking it went along with the book, it does not.  It is it's own thing based on the book.  I want to order the DVDs and do it.  (A friend messaged me that she's about to start teaching it and I really, really want to join her group but I just can't right now.)
Sunday we were getting ready for church and I could only find one of AveryAnn's shoes.  Which was fine because she insisted on wearing her "flippers" anyway.  So she went to Mass in house shoes.  I just laughed.  At least we made it, that alone feels like a victory with small kids.
I think we're all caught up.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Wednesday Weigh-In: Week 5

Here we are, five weeks in, feeling stronger and stronger each week.  I'm seeing the number on the scale go down (slowly but surely) and I'm seeing muscle definition return after my 6 week hiatus from the gym.  There have been a lot of new people at the gym this month and so many of them remind me of myself 6 months ago.  As much as I miss all the free space before the new year, it's exciting to see people motivated to reach new goals.  I feel like I'm proof that it works if you commit to it.  I'm committed.  I know it's only going to get harder as our kids get older and busier.  So I want to make it as much of a habit as I can now.  I'm somewhat of a homebody.  When I get home in the afternoon, I like to be home.  So getting back out to go to the gym (especially when it's dark and cold) has been hard.  But it is so worth it.  Eating well is so worth it too, I'm having a harder time convincing myself of that one though.  I'm eating what I have to eat to reach my desired goal.  But I'll be honest, I'm not enjoying it.  I do feel better so that helps, but man why do cookies and chips (and margaritas) have to be so bad for you.  I went shopping this past weekend and I can't explain to you the feeling of being able to choose something off the rack and it just fit.  Part of this is the breast reduction but a big part of it is the weight loss and workout regimen.  I even tried on some shorts that I was afraid were going to be to small and they were too big!!  I feels so good to feel good in my own skin again.  (Now if I could win the lottery or somehow have a big pile of money fall in my lap so I can buy all new clothes that would be great!)
-1.2lbs this week.
I wasn't kidding when I said slowly.
But again, Rome wasn't built in a day.  I'm getting so close to my goal that I'm getting antsy and ready to just be there.  I feel like these last 14.8lbs are going to be the hardest, even harder than those first 15-20bs.  But they are going to be so worth it.  I could easily sit back right here and be happy with what I've accomplished.  But I'm determined not to settle for good enough.  I've got a goal and even if it takes me another six months to lose 14lbs, I'm going to do it.  
My tip for this week isn't new but I want to share it again.  Get an accountability partner!!!  Dave Ramsey defines this person as "someone who loves you enough to hurt your feelings."  and that description couldn't be more perfect.  (I realize Dave Ramsey is a money guy but this definition fits here too).  I may be biased but I think I have the best accountability partner.  We are pretty brutal to each other when it comes to honesty but I know she wants what's best for me and I want the same for her.