Friday, October 15, 2010

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

No, I'm not trying to be a downer today.  Leslie over at Lambert's Lately brought this day to my attention.  There are so many causes out there and not that they aren't great causes I've just never felt a personal connection to them.  This one sadly has a personal connection to my family and I think it'd be tough to find a family out there that hasn't been affected by it.
On December 31, 2003 my brother and his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl Ava.  Now if you've read my blog you know that Ava is a huge part of our live so you're probably wondering where I'm going...Well when Ava was about 2 months old we found out that she was going to be a big sister.  You can imagine our surprise.  We were shocked and excited all at the same time.  I think I was happy that we all wouldn't have to fight over holding this one baby...we would have two.  My SIL had a great pregnancy she had one problem about 4 months into the pregnancy with her thyroid.  They put her on medication and said everything should be fine.  And it was...for about 3 months.  In September she went to the doctor because she couldn't remember the last time she felt the baby move.  (She was a busy woman with a three year old and a 9 month old).  The doctor confirmed what we'd all been to scared to say.  The baby had died.  I was in school at Alabama at the time.  I remember getting the phone call from my mom as I walking out of class one night.  I was devastated.  It was one of the worst calls.  It was such a weird feeling.  I can't explain it.  I had such a strong feeling of sadness for a baby I'd never met or held.  They induced her and I think it was the next day she delivered a beautiful baby boy he weighed a little over 4 lbs.  They never determined what happened.  It wasn't his cord or anything visible.  It was one of the saddest times in our lives.  I felt guilty feeling sad for myself, after all it wasn't even my baby.  It made me hurt even worse for my brother and SIL because I was hurting so bad I couldn't imagine how they felt.  We all held sweet baby Ava just a little bit tighter those first few days.  Sweet baby Foster is buried under a big Oak tree with my SIL's family.  I am happy to say about 3 years later we welcomed a sweet baby boy into our family.  Porter was ray of sunshine to this family.  We were all on pins and needles until he arrived but his arrival was one of the happiest days I can remember.  We all stood in the room in tears as we passed him around.  Happy tears of course but it still hurt to know that there should have been another big brother to hold him.  They've since welcomed another baby girl Harper.  It doesn't take away the pain we feel each September but it reminds us that we will see Foster again someday. 

I encourage you to pray for all the families that have experienced the loss of a child/ pregnancy and remember all those sweet babies in heaven.

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